| Location | Coventry |
| Age | 26 years |
| Cause of Death | Suicide |
| Date of Birth | 14/01/1981 |
| Date of Death | 28/08/2007 |
| Visitors | 14,226 since 24/12/2007 |
| Creator |
Robert Ayres
Committed suicide and left us on August 28th 2007, aged 26.
He was a loving Son, Brother, Partner to Kerri, and an amazing father to Shannon, Angel and Lewis.
We'll never know what went through his mind in the past few moments of his life but we will always
wonder. Your missed so much Rob, by so many people, I just don't think you realise how many lives
you touched.
"Rob, we often sit and think of you and wonder why you died, We never got to say goodbye before you
closed your eyes.
God took you when we were not there, the reasonw e shall never know.
He knew we thought the world of you and would never let you go" - Debbie Fawcett
Loving you is easy - We do it everyday
Missing you is harder - It never goes away
You've now got your beloved Kerri up there with you now, and I just hope your looking after her as
well as you did down here. We miss her so much.
Http://kerri-atkins.gonetoosoon.org
Sleep Well xxxxxx
Sleep Well x
I'm sorry that i havent wrote to you in a while, after the first couple of weeks ive found it too hard and couldnt handle it, i couldnt handle readying kerris tributes they really upset me noing she feels so much, ive decided how ever hard it is im going to start writing to you more, i keep seeing things that remind me of you, some nice and some not so nice, but it is nice that so many things remind me of you.
I want to say thank you to the women lisa that keeps writing on the site, you sound like such a wonderful women and i am soo sorry to hear about your loss,i no how you feel, rob was the first person in my life that i have been old enought to no the feelin of loss, i didnt think it would hurt as much as it does, and what there family is doing to you, blocking you out , i no its hard because i no someone who has been/going threw exactly the same thing. You stay strong girl.
Rob And David Sleep Well...x
Shoulder to cry on
Hi Kerry,
I have just been reading your last tribute to Rob. This site has really touched me, reading what you have to say to Rob & about Rob i've found quite upsetting, so I thought I'd drop by to lend a shoulder to cry on and try to give you a bit of advice. I recently lost somebody who meant the absolute world to me, but it''s complicated so I've had to grieve alone. This doesn't help, being alone at a time like this is the worst possible way to try & handle it. Kerry... you need your friends/family round you. You need to let them in so they can help you. I know how hard it is having to come to terms with the fact that your never going to see your loved one again. Dont think of him as gone, think of him as by yourside, step by step, day by day your angel with forever be with you.
I will never come to terms with losing the person I lost, I talk about him all the time, everyday. My parents are worried that I'm not handling it, but the truth is I dont want to. I refuse to belive he has gone. Its my comfort thing to think that he is beside me & watching over me. Thats what Rob will be doing. Watcing over you & Lewis, protecting you & loving you more than ever.
I am going to see a medium soon, they say it takes 6 months to pass over so I'm gonna wait until then. Maybe this is something you should look into. Maybe if you realise that rob is by yourside & you hear it from somebody else, it might help you???
I felt guilty the first time I went out after losing him, but then I thought... he wouldn't want to me be sat in bed crying. So everytime I go out now, I have a dance and a drink in his memory. I know that when I go out he is out with us.
Don't feel guilty for moving on, well not moving on just trying to get on with the rest of your life. You & Lewis need each other, be there for him. Dont let Rob's passing come between you, is that what Rob will want?? You need to pull together as a team to get through this. Talk to someone, my mum helps me soooo much. She listens when I talk about him, hugs me when I'm crying for him & laughs with me when I'm laughing about all the daft things we used to get up to. Let somebody do that for you. The pain your feeling will never, ever go away. But I promise you one thing Kerry, the days do get easier. Even if you get in bed then cry (which I do every night) at least your that one step closer. I know the little things are the worse, like the smell of his aftershave or his clothes. But use these as a positive thing. Wear his clothes to bed, spray his aftershave. I use mine as bloody air freshener, but it helps me get through. I spary a little bit on my coat so I know he is always with me. This might help you feel closer to Rob.
Any way.. Hope your ok. Sending my love to you & Lewis & all Robs friends & family. If you ever need a chat email me, its sometimes better to talk to someone you don't know. In my thoughts Lisa x x x x x
xXx
A heart can feel so many thing's
That word's can never say,
The saddness that each day bring's
Will never go away.
Everything is changing
So much in life is new,
But one thing that never changes
Is the love we feel for you..
missing you is sending me crazy !!
its 1.08am babe
and im sitting here crying my eyes out
i just cant accept that u are dead and im never going to speak to u or feel your skin again
latley i have been so confused and my head is twisted
i wish you had taken me with u !!!!!!!!
i wish they never put the effin medicine in me and saved me
it makes me sooooo angry knowing i could be right there next to you now
and i feel guilty for surviving i would give anythink just to see you one more time .
the last vision i have of you its horrible and it haunts me day after fucking day aghhhhhhhhhhh
somtimes i hate you so much for what u did to me and then running off and taking your own life and to leave me here to take all the blame .
i hate being the last one to see you alive i really do .
you left no note no nothing to esplain to me and your loved one's why you have done what you done .and it cuts us deep babe as we never knew your last thoughts.
u didnt even tell me u loved me before you left .
even thow i told u in the bedroom.infact i was screaming it at you just trying to get you to snap out of your stupid bloody drunken rage .
you wer so so angry and u scared me so much baby
if only i had maybe said or done somthing different then u may still be here .
but i did not espect you to go and leave us that night .
i have seen that temper before and i know after a few hours rob come's back and your calm again .
but not this time no matter what i said rob was not coming back .
somtimes i sit n think maybe it was his time .
but then i say to myself it couldnt have been as everything was going so well and we were happy
i keep finding your stuff around the house . i went under the stairs 2 days ago to start packing for the move .and your deodrant fell out of your work bag .
i coverd myself in it and sat with my jumper under my nose half the day .
i dropped everythink i was doing just to sit n smell you again
it was heartbreaking i could smell my rob but i couldnt see or hear him .
i know your not gone i know your still here and it should make me feel better but it doe's not
when i was hurting in the past u always would put ur arms round me and try n make me laugh.
and now i sit hurting all on my own and i dont know what to do .
i cant talk to lewis about you .on the way back from the horse's today lewis said .(daddy will be having a beer in heaven) and i just said i bet he will be
and he added my daddy is the brightest star and jesus is the other bright star .. which did make me laugh
but what i mean is i should be talking to him about it . but if i can accept that your gone then how am i supposed to esplain it to lewis . the family keep saying you need to talk to him .. but they need to accept that i cant and to stop pushing me to do things that i cant do !!
i feel alone with this all the time like no-one understands
but they proberly do but i really dont think anyone is hurting as much as i am i just want to be with you .most of the time i wish i was dead atleast then all this crap in my head will be gone .
u see u have killed all your demons and you know i had many before you left .but since u have gone i have loads of demons cutting away at me and breaking me down day after day.
anyway my love im gonna try n sleep once again
missing you and thinking about u constantly
wish u was here or me there . cant wait to see you again and finish where we left off .totally happy again
love you xooxoxoxox
LONELY X
hi babe me and lewis again
and for a first i really dont know what to write
it sounds horrible but i have been trying to block you out of my mind latley and i dont know why
maybe it's beacuse i no i have to move on
but i dont want to !!
well u no how much i keep breaking down and to be honest im sick of it
everytime i turn on my laptop i see the picture of me and you
everytime i go on msn i see the thing i have wrote for you
.i just feel stuck as thow time is at a standstill.
and asthow i am in darkness and u are the light at the end .but no matter how fast i run towards you
my feet arnt on the ground and ur just there stuck at the end
and its driving me crazy
i keep trying not to write on here but for sum reason i do
i think i just maybe going mad.
i just miss you so much and since u have been gone im just doing mad things like getitng drunk loads which is not good
and i just dont care about myself anymore and i wont even give lewis the time of day .maybe im pushing him away for a reason but that reason is subconsious and i dont dont
i keep looking at your photo's above the fire and also the videos on my fone and its just heart breaking because each one we are laughing and every single photo is a smile ,
so why is every photo since u went to misery
i've seen the one's taken mas day and there horrible .u can see me in the back ground just starring at the wall .
i dont think i even realised i was doing it
but xmas was horrible and i really dont think i ever want to celebrate it ever again.
anyway im going now as need to sort my head out as today i am finding so so hard .
im inlove with you so much rob .and for you to never be here again is breaking my heart so much
night babylove xxxx
Your Angel is Always with You x x x
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Have you ever truly heard,
An angel whisper in your ear?
Their voices are soft and comforting,
Letting you know
You have nothing to fear.
They do their very best
To always watch over you
To keep you safe and happy
In everything you do.
So, next time you feel lonely
Kinda scared and feeling blue
Just whisper to your angel...
...And listen...
For they'll whisper back to you
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Lots of Love sent to you all. Love Lisa x x x
In my home there is a photo
Of a face more precious than gold,
And to those who love and lost you
your memory will never grow old.
Today I look at your photo
At your face so loving and true,
No wonder my heart is breaking
Losing someone as precious as you.
But each day you walk beside me
And when my life is through,
I pray that god will take my hand
And lead me straight to you..
more pictures
to robs freinds and family and to the kind passers by
i have added more pictures of rob tonight .i will find some more and will scan some when i have the chance
also to everyone thankyou for all your kind words i really do hope this memorial to the greatest man ever has helped you as this site has helped me so so much come to terms with loosing this very special and precious person to me .
god bless you all x
love from kerri x
ANOTHER POEM ...THEY JUST KEEP COMING LOL
just one more kiss
just one more hug
one more whisper
from the one i love
the angels got greedy and took u away
if only they left you one more day
the day would of bin filled with kisses from me
but that day wont come cuz the angels wer greedy
if you were here now i wudnt no what to say
maybe id hold onto ur legs and wudnt let you stray
id hold u so tight u would feel no air
id kiss ur soft lips and run fingers through ur hair
many tears i have shed many screams have been heard
if only i could hear them 3 little words
the 3 words we both no means so much for me and you
all the happy and sad times we been through
i love you.. many times has been spoken
between me and u all trust is broken
i trusted u not to leave us alone in this life
for the summer of this year i was goinG to b ur wife
many times i dreamt of us on that day
me in my dress the flowers wer perfect
and every second of it would have been worth it
anyway baby them 3 words i will leave with you
all my tears i will cry for my lost boo
all the hugs have now gone but will return one day
untill the angels get greedy and take me away
please wait baby for i'll see u again
as ur wer not just my lover u were my freind.
them 3 words i will say once more
I LOVE YOU FORVER IM YOURS XXXXX
BOUT TIME !!
HEY BABE ITS ME
BEEN TRYING TO GET ON UR PAGE ALL BLOODY DAY LOL
ITS BIN DOING MY HEAD IN AS CUDNT CHAT TO YA AND EVERYTHING I WANTED TO SAY I HAVE FORGOT NOW.
ANYWAY JUST READ SUM MORE STUFF POSTED ON HERE AND ITS REALLY SWEET .
SEE BABE U WERE LOVED SHAME YA DIDNT REALISE THAT LAST YEAR WHEN YA DONE THAT U SILLY GIT!!
ANYWAY NO POINT GOING ON ABOUT IT AS THEY AINT INVENTED TIME MACHNES YET SO CANT REALLY GO BACK AND CHANGE IT.
ANYWAY I SEE FROM WHAT YA BRO WROTE U HAVE YOUR CROSS ON AND I AM SOOO GLAD AS MAYBE IT MIGHT HIT HOME THAT UR GONE AS FOR SOME REASON EVERYTIME I LOOK AT UR PICS U STILL FEEL ASTHOW UR HEAR AND IM JUST WAITIN TILL 5.45PM FOR U TOO GET HOME FROM WORK
AS I STILL FEEL AS THOW UR STILL HERE WITH ME AND ITS CRAZY .. MAYBE ITS JUST UR SMILE AS THATS ENOUGH TO FILL ANYONES HEART.
ANWAY IM OFF NOW AS IM NOT TOO WELL AND JUST WANNA LIE ON SOFA N CHILL WITH MY BAILEYS LOL U NO ME BABE
HOPE YOUR OK AND KEEP SMILING DOWN UPON US AND KISS US EACH NIGHT AND WISH US WELL ..ALSO PLZ KEEP AN EYE ON UR GIRLS BABE AND DONT WORRY ABOUT LEWIS AS HE HAS STILL GOT ME .EVEN THOW IM A WRECK
LOVE U SO BLOODY MUCH
UR OLD FRUIT XXXX
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